Cream of Mushroom Soup

Tonight is soup night. When the weather turns chilly and the leaves start drifting down quietly from the trees...when the wind blows a little colder, the sun sets a little earlier, the light is more golden, the acrid smell of burning wood melds with the sweet smell of damp leaves... it's fall. And fall means Thursday soup nights, my son's favorites.

This was actually, despite my deep love of mushrooms, my first attempt at cream of mushroom soup. No resource altered or guidance used. This is 100% me.

Ok, I know, the picture is terrible. My camera's battery decided to die right as I was being a genius, and ye old smart phone has only 8 megapixels. My bad. 

This is in no way, shape, or form fat free. It is lower in fat that the crap in the can and much yummier. 

Start with a bunch of different kinds of mushrooms. I used something like close to 2 pounds. 

See, mushroom-a-holic. 

I used Oyster, button, crimini and shittake. These were what was available at the local produce market. It's not mushroom season till March, so I make do.

You will also need:

1/2 and 1/2

Chicken stock or Better than Bouillon

Onion

Celery

Carrot

Garlic

Bay Leaf

Rosemary

Salt and Pepper

Butter

White wine

Milk 

Cut the onions into tiny bits, shred the carrots, chop the celery, rough chop the garlic, rough chop the mushrooms. 

Melt 2 Tbs of butter into the bottom of your stock pot (10 qt) on medium-high heat. Saute onion and garlic until onion is translucent. Add carrot and celery and cook for a few minutes. Add mushrooms mix gently so butter coats them. Add 1/2 c white wine, 4 cups of chicken stock, and 2 c milk. Add 1/2t rosemary and  2 bay leaves, Reduce heat to medium and watch carefully so the milk doesn't separate. Add 1 quart of 1/2 and 1/2. Heat through. Salt as needed (I used a lot). Soup should fill the stock pot about 3/4. 

Serve warm with bread and butter or a salad. 

And that's it. Super easy. Moderately healthy. Deliciously yummy. 

BBQ Pork Tenderloin with potato salad and baked beans

Lately there has been a great influx of pigs jumping of cliffs, running in front of cars, and hanging themselves or other means of suicide. Due to this terrible tragedy, prices on large cuts of pork tenderloin have dramatically dropped at the grocery stores. I mean really dropped....1.50 a pound kind of dropped.

So, to do my duty as a good, sympathetic citizen, to aid the ranchers in their time of mourning over the loss of pigs to suicide, I have been regularly purchasing said cuts of meat.

What the hell do you do with a 15 pound pork tenderloin?

So there I sit (or really, stand, because sitting in front of the freezer on a stool the tall is just silly), staring at this long, tube-like thing in my freezer, wandering a) Do I have a pan big enough for this thing b) how do I season it and cook it and c) do I have a platter big enough to hold it when its done.

Well...hmmm...its still nice outside...the grill is huge so could do that...I could season it like I do ribs and such, and make potato salad (which, btw the way the roommates were beside themselves excited about...), baked beans and devilled eggs and we could have ourselves a big ol' barbecue. Hell, I may even invite my friend from across the street, because goodness knows, there is enough for half the neighborhood...(and between my house hold and hers, we do, have, literally, half the neighborhood)

Now for the pan...how am I to lay this thing out and actually get it seasoned...?

Oh yes! That's right. Granny bought me that set of baking sheets and one was ginormous...you know, the size you use when you don't want to make 47 trips to the oven to bake cookies so you use the largest pan available and squeeze the cookies as close as you dare to try to get the entire batch on one pan.

Don't act like you don't know what I mean. I know better.

So... what do we need?

Seasoning:
Brown sugar
Salt
Garlic powder
Cumin
Oregano
Coriander
Thyme
a little olive oil

Glaze: 

Bbq sauce -  ok we have to get into this discussion. Bbq sauce is like...wine. Some good, some great, some amazing, many different flavors, and some is well...just don't buy it. Like Kraft... Get a good bbq sauce. If you need to do cheap, do cheap well like KC masterpiece, or Sweet Baby Ray's. Locally made tends to be the best. My personal fave is Cookies. 

Yes those cookies too, but Cookies is one of the few that has NO corn syrup, just good old-fashioned ingredients, and boy can you taste it. Jack Stack is another fave, but its a midwest local only. Teag's is good as well as Jack Daniels. No matter what you choose, please, for the respect of the pigs who committed suicide, do not use 98 cent or less bottles of bbq sauce. That's just, well, not yummy. 

liquid smoke
garlic

Potato Salad:- The link here will give you the portions and recipe. 

Potatoes

Sweet pickles (I use 14-day pickles mom makes and sends to me)
Hard boiled eggs (funny, we are going to make those too)
Onion
Mayo ( I use either half real, half miracle whip, or use miracle whip's olive oil mayo which tastes about like half and half)
Apple cider vinegar
Sugar
Dill
Garlic

I have a weird thing for crunchies in my potato salad, therefore, no celery or peppers. Add them if you are not odd like me. It's all the better.

Beans:

I am lazy most days, and buy Bush's Beans, Homestyle 'cause they are sweet and need little doctoring.

I do have a recipe for the real deal, but in the essence of time, canned is ok here. 

To Doctor pork n beans or other canned beans...(trust me on this, no canned bean is perfect out of the can, and if you think so up to now, just try it my way and then make judgement!)

Brown Sugar
Ketchup
BBQ sauce
Onion
Sweet Peppers
Garlic
Chili Powder
Bbq sauce

Deviled Eggs:

Eggs
Mayo
Mustard
Salt
Pepper
Apple cider vinegar
Sugar

Whew! Lots of stuff, but most should have these things on hand. Let me know if I should do a mini post on what spices to keep in your cabinet or basics to keep on hand. I try to aim this blog to the not so proficient in the kitchen all the way up to the usual home cook. I am sure restauranteurs or pro's look to, but doubtful. They have their own vibe.

Let's start

Mix the dry rub ingredients together (see below for measurements)

Place loin on giant pan and drain off the liquid. Trim off any overly excess fat. You want some for tenderness.

Rub the loin down with olive oil.

With your fingers, take take a handful of the spice rub and rub it into the meat, pushing down gently. Rub it all over front, back, sides and ends. Cover and toss in the frig for a couple of hours to get happy.

Cut and boil your potatoes. Boil your eggs, peel, and devil them. They are better when they have set and mellowed for about 30 minutes or so. While everything is boiling cut the necessary amounts of onion, pickles etc into your bowl for the taters and for the beans too, in another bowl.

Eggs: Let cool so you can handle them. Room temp is good. Cool by dousing in ice water (which also makes for an easy peel, and stops the cooking which causes the yolks to turn that funny color on the outside). Cut in half and gently squeeze out yolks into a bowl. Squish them to crumbles with the back of a fork or a pastry blender. Add, for every dozen eggs, 2 Tbs mayo, 2 teas mustard, a pinch of salt and pepper, and a teaspoon each of vinegar and sugar. Mix together and taste. You want it to have a zip but slightly sweet and slightly savory.

Dump taters into bowl and throw in frig to get cool.

Go...do laundry. Or whatever.

In a couple of hours, start the grill. Get it all happy.

Happy=gray and ashy but red coals. For non coal users, shame, shame, shame. Not the same. But nevertheless, use your temp gauge thingy on the grill. Wait till its about 450.

Drag out your loin and olive oil. 

Spray, brush or otherwise lube up the grill. Caution: spraying with mister will cause flammage, and where it is pretty and cool to look at, just be careful k?

Lay loin on the cooler part of the grill, not directly over the coals. We will do that later. Right now we want to cook it, not burn it. Close the grill lid.

Go back inside and mix up the bbq sauce with some liquid smoke and garlic. If you are using the cheap stuff like we discussed not to, add a couple tablespoons of brown sugar, a pinch of cumin and coriander too.

After about mmmm...8-10 mins, go flip your loin and glaze the cooked side with bbq sauce.

Go assemble the rest of the potato salad. Get the beans to heating. Saute the onions, garlic (yes real garlic) and peppers in a little olive oil. When onions are translucent, add the mix to the beans then (for large cans or 2 cans of pork n beans) add 2 Tbs brown sugar, 1/4 c bbq sauce, 2 Tbs ketchup, 2 teaspoons of chili powder. For the ketchup, I just give the bottle a hefty squirt. Trying to get it out of a measuring spoon is...fun.

Go flip the loin again and coat the other side. (about 8-10 mins)

At this point the loin should be cooked through. Sear it directly over the coals on both sides for a minute then take off grill and let it set for 5 or 6 mins to let the juice inside stay inside. If you cut it straight off the heat, all those yummy juices will come spilling out and we want yummy juices.

Mix the sauce up for the tater salad. Its always best fresh. Pour over and mix gently! Potatoes break easy and we don't want squished potato salad. That is another recipe :-)

Slice the tenderloin into thick slices. 

Take your hard work to the table and enjoy!

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Recipes

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Pork Tenderloin:
10-15lb Pork Tenderloin
Olive oil

Seasoning - 2 T brown sugar
1t each garlic, cumin, coriander, thyme, pepper and oregano
1 T salt

Glaze - 1 bottle of barbecue sauce
1/2 t liquid smoke
1 t garlic

Mix seasoning ingredients together. Drain liquid from pork loin and trim of excess fat leaving a thin layer. Place on large pan and rub with olive oil. Massage spice mix into loin flesh by gently pushing and rubbing. Cover all sides. Wrap and set aside for a minimum of 2 hours.

Heat grill to 450 or until coals are gray and ashy. Brush olive oil on grill and place loin over indirect heat. Cook 8-10 mins on each side, depending on size of loin.

Mix Barbecue sauce with garlic and liquid smoke. Glaze loin after each turn.
When cooked through, place over direct heat to sear for 1 minute. Remove from grill and let rest for 5-6 mins. Slice.


Potato Salad - click link above.

Deviled Eggs:
12 eggs
2 T Mayo
2 t mustard
1 t apple cider vinegar
1 t sugar
pinch of salt and pepper

After eggs have cooled, halve and squeeze out yolk. With the back of a fork or a pastry blender, crumble the egg yolks. Add rest of ingredients and mix. Stuff eggs. Garnish with paprika, chives, dill or parsley. 

Sweet Potato Quinoa Salad

It is friggin hot. I have been banished to the great state of Kansas for the month, and if you have never been to the midwest during summer, let me tell you again. IT'S FRIGGIN' HOT!

Don't ever come in the summer. Actually, there really is nothing here really anyway, other than a lousy football team and a baseball team that finally has started the grueling process of pulling their heads out of their butt-cheeks.

So today, it went from 108 to 97 which is cold, considering. Humidity is 400% but hey, you take what you can get.

Have I mentioned I miss home?

Tonight, amongst the groaning and moaning if ye old air conditioner, I chose to make something easy, light and yummy. Always yummy.

Dah, dah, dah!

Sweet Potato Quinoa Salad.

MMMMMM. Let me tell you how much of a hit this was, may I?

Too bad, I'm going to anyway. 

The kids liked it. 

.

.

.

.

Yes. Pigs did fly, actually. They wore silver sparkly capes and top hats with red plumes and were singing dancing queen. 

Oh wait. That was Priscilla Queen of the desert. My bad.

Anyway, this is super easy and not so hard on the a/c either. It's getting enough of a workout, let's not heat up the inside too.

You will need:

• Quinoa
• Sweet Potatoes
• Cilantro
• Bell pepper, color of choice
• Onion
• Tomato (roma is best)
• Avocado, ripe but not overly squishy. 
• Balsamic Vinegar
• Lime juice (preferably from real lime not plastic lime-looking container)
• Mushrooms (optional)
• Chili powder, salt and pepper

Add 1 cup of quinoa to 2 cups of water and 2 tsps of Better than Bouillon into pot. Chicken is fine unless you are veggie, then use the veggie version. Bouillon lumps are ok too. Bring to a boil, cover and turn to low. It should be done in 10-15 mins. 

Chunk up your sweet potatoes in bite sized pieces, and boil in another pot with a good pinch of salt.

While they are cooking, slice your onion in half, then cut into thin slices. Chop peppers and tomatoes and avocados into bits. Mushrooms into chunks. Cilantro chop roughly (aka dirty chop). Throw all of these in a good sized bowl. It makes a lot. 

Ok. Now clean up the mess from throwing. 

See cooking is fun! You get to throw shit, play with knives and fire, I mean seriously when can you have this much fun but in the kitchen?

                                      

The sweet potatoes will be done first. Drain them, rinse in cold water and dump into other stuff you threw already.

When quinoa has soaked up all the liquid, fluff with a fork and dump into the bowl. Add 2-3 Tbs of balsamic vinegar and the juice of 1/2 the lime. A pinch of salt, chili powder and pepper and if it is a little to vinegary to your taste buds and a teaspoon of sugar.

NOW you can mix it. The less you mix this the better. Avocado becomes all squishy with too much mixing. 

I served this with Broccoli Slaw. Quinoa is an excellent source of protein, therefore can be a meal in itself. If you are not vegetarian, baked or grilled chicken is an awesome addition. If you are using it as a main dish, double this recipe and add some good old bread and butter.

Sweet Potato Quinoa Salad

 1c Quinoa

2 Sweet Potatoes

1/2 bunch Cilantro, chopped

1/2 Bell pepper, color of choice, diced

1/2 Onion, diced

2 Roma tomatoes, diced 

1 Avocado, diced

3 Mushrooms, diced (optional)

2 Tbs Balsamic Vinegar

1 Tbs Lime juice (preferably from real lime not plastic lime-looking container)

1 Tbs Chili powder

1 Tbs Garlic

Pinch salt and pepper

Bring 2 cups water or broth to a boil and add quinoa. Reduce heat to low and cover pot. Chop sweet potatoes into chunk and boil in broth or water until barely fork tender. Assemble remaining veggies into bowl. Mix together vinegar, spices, and lime juice. Add potatoes and quinoa to veggies. Pour sauce over top and mix lightly. 

Mango-Chipotle Chicken Burritos with Black Beans

I cheated.

No.

I did.

I was craving some really fresh, summery, yummy mexican-ish type food.

I had chicken. I had tortillas. I had.... hmmmm....

Oh yeah. That random bottle of salad dressing my mom shipped to me along with the other 42 bottles I have. Something by Kraft called Mango-Chipotle. Hmmmm.

Chicken. Mango-Chipotle.

This works.

So...maybe a put it together yourself burrito?

As you can see it was kid approved.

Yup. That'll work. And we could totally use that dressing for a marinade/cooking sauce for the chicken. Oooooh! And we have an entire gallon bag of black beans, so we could make mexican style black beans.

OMG. It's healthy too! So much protein!

We like protein. Protein is good.

So let's get started

3 large boneless skinless chicken breasts, cleaned and laid out in either a glass pan or jelly roll pan lined in foil.

Smother chicken with dressing, slice up some onion and toss it in, and cover with another piece of foil. Seal the foil. This is important. It will allow steam to be captured which results in fabulously tender chicken cooked relatively quickly.

Throw in oven for 20 mins or so. Baste with dressing every 10 mins.

So that's twice. You'll be ok. It's easy to remember. Twice.

That's it?

Well... uh... ya.

That's it. So easy.

So.... There are several ways this chicken can go. If you are in a tropical mood, make up some mango salsa, cook up some coconut rice, and maybe make a small arugula salad with feta cheese and a vinaigrette.

If you are in a mexican mood, when it comes out of the oven, you can serve over black beans and rice with sour cream and salsa, OR....

Make up some black beans, grab out tortillas, chop up some lettuce, tomato and cucumber, and make a build your own burrito.

I took option 3.

So. I have a gallon bag of black beans in the freezer, mainly because I cooked them, then realized I didn't have any ziploc baggies in less than a gallon.

Sigh.

So. Defrost your beans, about a quart's worth depending on the number of people you are feeding, obviously. Or 2 cans.

Saute some onion bits. Add 1 tsp garlic powder or 4-5 cloves fresh and 1Tbs taco seasoning. Splash in some worcestershire sauce and just a drop or 2 of liquid smoke, if you have it.

Toss in beans and a little water with a chicken bouillon cube or 1 tsp of chicken(or veggie) Better Than Bouillon. Pre-made broth works well too. By a little I mean maybe 1/2 c. Add more if the beans suck it all up. You want the beans to be a little soupy.

Let them cook until heated through and broth is thick.

Meanwhile, check your chicken. If it is done, pull off top foil and put back in oven a few minutes to brown the top just a touch.

Assemble other ingredients on the table.

Cut chicken into pieces and transfer it, and onions onto a plate. Feel free to shred chicken, that works too. I cut mine into large slices and let the creators decide how they wanted to further alter it for their burrito.

To create burrito, layer chicken, beans, veggies, sour cream and salsa. Wrap and enjoy.

As you can see, my son opted for beans on the side and no onions or salsa.

What a bum.

Mom's Famous Potato Salad

This is Mom. Mom and Granny have taught my sister and I well when it comes to cooking. 

Remember those home-ec cooking classes you had to take in middle school? Ya, my sis and I rocked those classes. And we of course owe it all to the 2 amazing women that raised us. Granny has forgone cooking unless it is her famous pumpkin and pecan pies at xmas and on occasion cookies and cake. 

Sometimes biscuits. 

Mom still forges on, always coming up with new alterations to recipes she has tried. This one, however, is an original.

SHHHHHH. Family secret here.

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

GO take the computer into the closet to view this most secret recipe k? Cause once you try it and if the restaurants see it, they will forgo that nasty stor bought crap and go to this. AND then it won't be a SECRET anymore. 

Wait what?

Everyone can see the internet?

Seriously?

No, for real?

Well Shit. Fine. You can leave the closet then. 

So for this yummy-ness, you will need potatoes. 

DOH!

Any type will do. I am cheap today so it's good all russets for me.

Oh! Eggs! You need to start a pan of water and eggs to boilin' 'cause eggs are yummy in potato salad. I use about 2-3 per 5 mid-size potatoes. See above for my idea of mid-size.

Wash all the dirt off of your taters. If you are against skin, then by all means peel. As I said, I'm lazy. That and skin has all the nutrients, so it gets left on.

Chop potatoes into chunks. 

If you are confused about how to get them more or less the same size, I'll post a how-to later. New page and all with how-to basic stuff for those new to cooking. Even size is important so the cook evenly and you don't have half mashed half chunks. 

EWWWWWW.

Drop your chunks into water. 

In a pot. 

'Cause you have to cook them. 

Let them boil until just barely fork tender. This means you use a fork and stick it into the potato. If it goes in easily, fork tender. Get it? 

Good.

While they are getting boily, chop some onion into bits. You can also add green pepper and celery chopped into bits if'n you want. I dislike crunchy stuff in my potato salad so I refrain. 

Also, if you have some sweet pickles, chop those up too. I happened to have some of mom's famous 14-day pickles made the old-fashioned way in a big ceramic crock. So I chunked those up and mmmmmm. They are like candied pickles. So yummy.

If you have only sweet relish, that's fine too. A couple of tablespoons should be enough.

Dump all of the above into a bowl and set aside until the taters and eggs are ready.

Now for the sauce. The all important, bring it all together ingredient in every salad. And my specialty. 

Sauces. Sauces are my specialty.

Grab out the mayo, apple cider vinegar, sugar, salt/pepper and if'n you like, some dill. 

For the 5 said mid-sized potatoes and other stuff, you will want about 1c of sauce. 

This is the hard part, because I don't actually measure any of the sauce ingredients, I just dump in what looks right, so, by all means, adjust for your taste. 

Mayo type will alter taste too. I use Miracle Whip's Olive Oil Mayo. It is slightly tangy but not like regular Miracle Whip and is creamy like real mayo.

SOOOOO.... For my mayo...and for real mayo too...

1/2 c mayo

3 T apple cider vinegar

2t sugar

pinch of salt and pepper

pinch of dill.

That's it. Whisk or mix with fork until smooth. Taste. Make sure that it is a good balance of acid and sweet and salt. In other words, your taste buds should sing and you should want to continue eating the sauce by spoonfuls. Yes, it is THAT important.

If you are using regular Miracle Whip, reduce amount of sugar to 1t or add a little sour cream (1 or 2 Tbs) to the mix to make it the right flavors. 

By now your eggs and taters should be done. Drain and rinse taters in cold water. I let them sit with the sprayer on them while I play with the eggs. Drain and cool off eggs with cold water. If you add ice to the water, it shocks them and they peel super easy. 

Chop eggs into bowl.

Add potatoes. 

DO NOT MIX YET!

This is important. The potatoes are in that delicate, if-you-screw-with-them-too-much-they-will-fall-apart stage. We want to mess with them only once, with exception of taste testing... 

repeatedly.

Dump sauce on top, and with a giant spoon, gently mix by bringing the bottom yumminess to the top in an up-and-over motion. Do this on all sides of the bowl until it is mixed evenly-ish. It will never be perfect, but will be darn close. 

And TADA! Potato salad. 

Be warned. It is addicting. You can't get enough. 

And it may not ever make it to the dinner table.

Mine was half gone within about an hour of making it and setting in the fridge. 

Damn gnomes. 

Download Recipe Card Here

Calling all Bachelors - Eggplant Parmesan - An easy meal to impress with

You go to an italian restaurant. You order the eggplant parmesana. It comes to you all soft and covered in cheese and sauce with a side of noodles. Melt in your mouth yummy right?

You go home thinking, "I wish I could make something that yummy". But alas, you think your meager cooking skills are too lacking to make something so complex and delicious. 

Or maybe you're having your new girl over and want to impress her with your suave cooking skills but are truly clueless. This would definitely impress her but too hard right?

Nope. You're wrong. Eggplant Parmesean is the easiest thing in the world to make. No really. It is. It involves slicing, a few herbs, some cheese and an oven. You can do that right?

Sure you can.

See easy. And fast too. And you can continue playing on Facebook and Pinterest while it cooks. Triple bonus!

So first you need an eggplant. There are multiple types and any will do. The long skinny ones I reserve for thai cooking, but would be fun for an appetizer or kid sized pieces. I used a regular old purple eggplant. 

I lied. First, get your oven rarin' to go by setting it to about 350. If your oven is retarded like mine, 375ish.

Now, chop off the ends of your purple orb. Oooh. Orb. Giggle. I like that word. Sounds dirty and silly all at the same time. Giggle.

Ehem. Sorry. Slice into 1/2 inch sized pieces. 

Lay them on a baking sheet in a single layer. One eggplant was enough for 2 adults and 2 kids here. 

Next, spray with olive oil and sprinkle with some herbage.

Herbage used this day was:

Basil

Oregano

Lemon Pepper

Salt

Garlic

Just shake it on, being messy is ok!

No really. It is!

Ok. If you want clean up to be easy 'cause your lazy like me then use a piece of tin foil over the pan before you lay your slices down. Makes clean up a snap.

Just recycle the foil k? K.

Wax paper is a good option too. Recycle that too when your done.

Look at you being all green and stuff!

*Sniff* I'm so proud.

*Clears throat* 

Ok. So. Your eggplant is almost really happy. Its crying for cheese. 

Mozzarella to be exact.

Be prepared, I am going to go Alton Brown on you...

Ready?

Are you sure?

There are a few types of Mozzarella out there. I usually use either the kind you get in a block that is half plastic or the kind you get in a roll that is 100% mozzarella, no plastic involved. 

They both get yummy and melty. The fresh mozz is creamier, meltier and well, better for you. (No plastic). It is also about the same price as the blocks.

Ok. I'm done doing Alton Brown. He'd probably go into a lot more scientific detail. I won't subject you to that. :-)

Where do you get them you ask? Oh.Well. Any decent grocer has them, usually located by the ricotta cheese. I get it from Costco. Double pack for $6. Lasts through 3 pizzas and this plus a little for snacking.

Spread on your mozz. If you are using shredded, it is doubly important, for ease of cleaning up, that you use foil or wax paper to line your pan. Burnt melted cheese is a bitch to get off.

Trust me.

Ooooh. See. Can you here the eggplant rejoice at the yumminess layered on? 

You can't? 

Well, put your darn ear closer to the picture...

See? Amazing right?

So then you slide those puppies into the oven. It should be hot by now.

Let them cook for 15 mins or so.

In the meantime, you can dump in your noodles into that pot of boiling water you started. 

You can get out your jar of sauce too and get it nuked. If you were feeling adventurous and made it from scratch, then use that. Make it before you start the other stuff. It would be step 1 in this meal.

Scratch Marinara Sauce Recipe Here

Go play on your computer or watch T.V. while waiting.

Or you could chop some lettuce and tomato and onion and cucumber and make a salad to go with dinner. Then you would be really impressing the girl.

Oooh. Or make some garlic bread. Slices of bread, add butter, sprinkle with garlic and stick  in the oven.

When your eggplant is done is should look like this...

Put a couple on a plate, douse with sauce, add some noodles on the side and douse with sauce. If you got REALLY fancy for that special girl you are impressing, put the salad in a small bowl, and a put the bread in the middle of the table on a nice plate. No, not the poker one. A NICE one. 

Crack open some red wine, light a couple of candles and you are set to impress. 

Bet you even get a kiss for your troubles!

Hawaiian Chicken Sandwich

It's an amazingly beautiful perfect day today in Washington. I am hobbling along with bare feet and a tank top today. Let me tell you, the air on my skin is like a lover's caress. Mother nature needs to create a climate where it doesn't get above like 70 ever. Or below for that matter. I'd be down with that.

I'm in a summery mood today, and again am in a creative mood for food.

So lunch today was a chicken sandwich, hawaiian style.

Well probably not technically hawaiian, but it has tropically things on it so we are calling it that, k? K.

See the yumminess...

So there is no step by step with this, because its basically assembly only. And cutting stuff.

Start with chicken. I used a frozen chicken patty and cooked it in the microwave then put it in a saute pan for a little bit to get it crispy. Lots less time than using the oven. 

I was hungry. I like shortcuts.

You can use a chicken breast as well and just cook it in oven or saute pan. I keep several cooked on hand because I have a high protein diet and its a quick snack.

Cut up an onion and mushrooms while waiting for chicken. Saute them in a little olive oil to until brownish in color. Sprinkle with a little salt and pepper while cooking.

Slice a piece of pineapple or use a ring or 2 out of the can and put in pan. Let them get a golden brown color on both sides. 

Slice an avocado.

For the mayo/sauce I used 1 T olive oil mayo, dash of garlic powder, pinch of dill, pinch of ginger.

Get out your buns. 

EWWWW! NO! Not those buns! Geez! Put THOSE buns away!

The edible kind...get one out. I like onion rolls, but a hoagie bun or whatever you have on hand os fine. 

Take pineapple out of pan and after buttering the un-crusty side of the bun, put them in the pan to warm up. You know. Kind of like grilled cheese.

When nice and toasty, spread each half with mayo mix and a wedge of laughing cow cheese or melt your cheese of preference over the chicken. Swiss, provolone, monty jack works well or cream cheese if you don't have the Laughing Cow stuff.

Assemble. Chicken. Lettuce. Pineapple. Onion/Mushroom mix. Avocado. 

Yum.

Voila! You have a very yummy summery sandwich, perfect for a sunny day and eating on the porch.

Chicken Taco Salad

I wasn't going to post this originally because, hey, everyone knows hot to make taco salad right?

Right!

But then I thought... well...I should include easy to make things too, easier than a normal recipe, because taco salad requires really no real recipe. It's just a bunch of chopping and such. Mostly.

Mostly. I alter things a bit, because I can't leave well enough alone.

No worries. It's still super easy. I like easy, and fast, especially during the week nights.

I am out of hamburger so this is going to be chicken. Chicken is better for you anyway!

If you are vegetarian, then leave out the chicken or use the faux strips I get for my sis.

As I have mentioned before, I get my chicken frozen cooked and in stripes in a bag at Costco. I HATE dealing with cleaning chicken. I do on occasion, but rarely.

If you use frozen like me, then put the strips in a skillet at medium heat with a little olive oil. Toss on about 1tsp of chili powder and a sprinkle of salt.

If you are using chicken breasts, clean them how you wish (I take out anything remotely red and veinish) and slice into strips or chunks. Remember to use a plastic or silicon cutting board and wash your hands frequently.

Do as above with your fresh chicken. 

Wash your hands.

With soap.

Let me smell them... 

Ok. Good to go.

Open a can of refried beans. Get a small saucepan ready to go with a little olive oil over medium heat. Chop a whole onion and a whole bell pepper.

Yes a whole one. You will use part now and part later.

Just trust me on this ok? Ok.

Add the onion and pepper to the pot and cook until happy. 

Have we not established this already?

Ok. Fine.

Happy=translucent color.

Dump in the beans. Mix with the onions. 

Get your spices ready.

If you have taco seasoning, use that. 1/2 pkg should be fine for beans and 1/2 for chicken.

If not, then use cumin, chili powder, garlic, coriander salt and pepper. 

As I mentioned before, I am out of the ground coriander and cumin so I am using seeds. See here how to squish.

Oh. Amounts. Ummmm... 1tsp of coriander, 2 tsp cumin, 1 tbs of chili and 1 tbs garlic. Dash of salt and pepper. This will be enough for the beans.

Put spices in beans and stir. Turn to low and let it get warm and yummy. (You could add cheese... if you reeeeeaaaaalllllyyyy wanted to)

Chop your veggies. You already did the onion.

Grate the cheese.

Chop the squishy cheese

See. Squishy cheese before its nuked.

Squishy cheese after nuking. With a little milk.

My array of veggies. I usually do cucumber too, but alas, it was growing odd things and had to be introduced to the Circular Graveyard for the Recently Departed.

Oh. Wait. Haha. Do cucumber. *shakes head* 

No pun intended. 

I need to get out more. 

Geez. That sounds even worse. 

Ok. I'm going to stop before I get myself in any further.

The beans should be done now. So you are ready to assemble.

Using tortillas or taco shells is perfectly acceptable. I like salad style.

Chips

Chicken

Cheeses

Veggies

Lettuce and sour cream and salsa and ranch dressing.

Yes. Ranch dressing. Hey, don't knock it till you try it. It's really yummy. I mean really. What's a salad without ranch dressing?

Now eat up. I always need more chips. The chip to stuff ratio is a tough configuration so to circumspect that, I just bring the bag of chips with me.

Of course, you can't have taco salad without pepsi. Cherry preferred. 

Bon Appetit!

White Bean Sweet Potato Chili

As I sit here eating chili cheese tots with the leftover chili form last night, it dawned on me that maybe I should share.

It's the end of the month and that means the pantry and frig are looking a little...well let's just say I can actually see the shelves in the frig and pantry k?

It is rainy and cold. Good night for chili right?

Crap. I have only white beans. Ooooh. I have sweet potatoes too... hmmmm.

Well, that wouldn't be too bad. Let's make a chili that has both. Warm and yummy and hearty. Perfect for a cold night.

Doesn't that look yummy?

Don't lie, you know it does.

If you don't like sweet potatoes, you've never had them this way. They add just a tiny, infinitesimal hint of sweetness. Awesome if you like your chili spiceh, spiceh, spiceh.

Channeling my inner donkey. Sorry.

To start off with you need one whole onion. Chop it into bits.

Wait, scratch that. Spices. You need spices. 

I was out of powdered cumin and coriander but I had seeds which are a million times better anyway, jsut take and extra step.

Warm up a ginormous pot with a little olive oil in the bottom. 

Get out your handy dandy spice squisher. (Also known as a mortar and pestle.)

If you do not have a squisher, then a rolling pin works to a the meat pounder (tenderizer).

Pound or squish until seeds are cracked. Like this.

See. Happy seeds. They are gonna be even happier when you throw them in hot, smoldering oil where they will fry their tooshies off. And get all smelly and yummy.

While they are getting happy, chop the onion. Chop a bell pepper up too.

Toss the onion in the pot with the now orgasmically happy seeds.

When onions are translucent-ish, toss in pepper too.

While they are getting happy together, chop you sweet potatoes in chunks.

See? Chunks. Now you know the difference between chunks and bits. These are little chunks because my stove is retarded. It doesn't like ginormous pans of anything let alone thick liquid. 

Stupid stove.

*dreams of a gas viking*

...

...

...

Also de-thaw your beans if in freezer as mine were. If you are using a can, drain and rinse the beans. 

No, the bean juice is NOT extra flavoring. Yuck.

You might also want to get out the bouillon, or in my case, Better than Bouillon. 

Trust me, it's better. 

This is a vegetarian base, so we use the veggie kind. Feel free to use chicken if you don't have veggie people in your house. No beef. This is not a beefy kinda meal. Use the beef in red chili.

Oh? Where to find it? Well here, Costco carries it in multiple flavors and so do our local grocery stores (Winco and Fred Meyer). I am sure you can find it in your local grocer. If not, the specialty stores like Whole Foods, etc probably have it.

It's worth it, trust me. Have I led you astray yet?

See, my point exactly.

Prepare your broth according to the box/jar directions. 

Throw some more spices in the pot. Garlic. Check.

Chili powder. check

White Pepper. Check.

Salt. Check.

I use about 1Tbs of each except the salt. Only about 1-2 tsp to taste. I add the salt after the liquid so I know how much I need. 

Let the new spices get happy with everything else for a minute or 2.

Pour a small amount of liquid in and "deglaze" the pot to get all the goodness off the bottom.

Now toss in everything else. 

Stop playing basketball with the potatoes.

Poor Potatoes.

That's potato abuse.

Place them in the pot with the beans and liquid. If you want chicken, add that in now too. It needs to be pre-cooked though. (cut into strips or chunks and saute in olive oil on medium heat until cooked through. Make sure you salt and pepper it before you cook it.)

Turn heat to medium and simmer till everything gets all happy together. I usually give it 30 mins or so.

Go have an amaretto sour while your waiting. Pop in a movie. Play on Pinterest. Do some laundry. Whatever.

Tonight I watched the Smurfs with the kids in between stages of dinner. 

When the smell drags you to the kitchen and your mouth is watering as you float toward the smell like Sylvester the cat...

Throw in some corn if you like that. I love corn in chili. MMMMMMM

Chop some cilantro.

Get out the sour cream.

And the bowls.

Taste one more time for necessary saltiness.

And serve. 

I nuked some chicken nuggets and chopped them up and put on top. It was actually pretty good. Feel free to add chicken strips or chunks into the chili. I won't be offended.

Easy as pie (and pie isn't easy always). Ok easy as...a boxed dinner but with fresh ingredients.

Enjoy!