Let me tell you about the cupcakes.
I have a thing for red velvet cake. LOVE red velvet cake. It was a special treat when granny made it for birthdays.
So, lately, there have been a million recipes floating around about variations of red velvet baked goods.
I decided to make red velvet cupcakes for the kids for school. This is the only school celebrated day there is (Don't get me started). I saved all that money and time not having to do stuff for Halloween and Christmas, so why not splurge on V's day.
Yes, I'm crazy, we've established this. Whats your point?
I searched the inter-web for a decent red velvet cupcake recipe and made a special trip to the store to buy some of the necessary ingredients.
I was up until 1am making and frosting said cupcakes. Red velvet with cream cheese frosting. And sprinkles. Mustn't forget the sprinkles. They are a requirement.
I had to work early and decided to deliver the cupcakes as a surprise during the school day to the kids.
I got off work, had a great meeting at Molly's Fund, was super excited to bring the cupcakes to the kids. I ran by the store, grabbed a mylar balloon and a rose for each of them, because, well, they are the loves of my life.
I ran home and grabbed the 60 cupcakes I had made the previous night and drove to school.
I walked in the front door, hands laden with yummy treats and the gifts for the kids. The secretary lady walks up to the counter as I approach, unsmiling. This is odd. She is always happy and nice and friendly. Maybe her hubby didn't get her flowers.
"Are those homemade?" she asks sternly
"Um... ya..."
"I can't let you bring those to the classroom. Unless they are store bought, the kids can't have them."
My eyes start to water. Damn eyes.
"Are you kidding? I stayed up late to make these for them, spent $30 in stuff to do this."
"I'm sorry."
In the meantime, the principal walks up and says the 8 dreadful words "I need to talk to you for a minute"
Oh great. Now I have to go to the principals office. They probably won't even let me take the balloons and roses to the kids 'cause, you know, the helium, it causes cancer and they might smell it and be hooked on drugs by the time they are 42 and the rose may have a wayward thorn that will suddenly grow and bite someone and put them into a deep sleep only to be awoken by an ogre.
Eyes are watering more. Damn eyes.
"I think your daughter has lice." He tells me in his office.
WHAT?!!?!?!?!? I mean, ok. My house isn't perfect, i'm a single mom. With 3 jobs. But its certainly not dirty.
F*&^
"She has been scratching and there are white flakes in her hair...Their have been other cases of lice in her class so she may have contracted it from another student."
Flaky and itchy....Dandruff?
"She has cradle cap. It causes the same thing."
"Oh. Well, I'll look at her at let you know."
FML
"I'm sorry about the cupcakes."
Oh sure. Rub it in.
I managed to get the balloons and roses upstairs to the kids, thoroughly embarrassing them.
I grabbed my cupcakes and left the school.
60 f'ing cupcakes! 3 hrs of sleep. $30 of wasted money
Ok. I'll give you the bloody recipe. I needed to vent first.
Want to see the cupcakes? Of course you do.
60 F'ING CUPCAKES.
Ok. I'm done now.
The recipe I can take no credit for at all. I got it here.
There are some things I don't mess with, and baked goods are one of them...well, unless its adding bits (like chocolate chips) or cheesecake. I screw around a lot with cheesecake. MMMMM cheesecake.
Focus. Deep Breath. OK.
2 1/2 cups sifted cake flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
2 oz. red food coloring (two bottles) or 4 oz beet juice (if you use unprocessed light cocoa you can leave out the food dyes and you'll get a warm red/brown color)
1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 eggs, at room temperature
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup buttermilk, at room temperature
1 teaspoon white vinegar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line two 12-cup muffin tins or silicone pans with cupcake liners.
2. Sift together the cake flour, baking powder, and salt into a medium bowl and set aside. In a smaller bowl, mix food coloring and cocoa powder to form a thin paste without lumps and set aside.
3. In a large bowl, using a hand mixer or stand mixer, beat butter and sugar together until light and fluffy, about three minutes. Beat in eggs, one at a time, then beat in vanilla and the red cocoa paste, scraping down the bowl with a spatula as you go. Add one third of the flour mixture to the butter mixture, beat well, then beat in half of the buttermilk. Beat in another third of flour mixture, then second half of buttermilk. End with the last third of the flour mixture, beat until well combined, making sure to scrape down the bowl with a spatula.
4. In a small bowl, mix vinegar and baking soda. Be careful as it will fizz so don't do it in a shallow bowl. Add vinegar mixture to the cake batter and stir well to combine. Fill cupcake cups with cake batter until they are a little under 3/4 full. I ended up with 20 cupcakes. Place muffin tins in your preheated oven. Bake for approximately 20, rotating pans halfway through. The cupcakes are done when you are able to pat the tops and the cake springs back up. If it sinks down they are not yet complete. Or you can insert a toothpick into the center of a cupcake in the center of the tin and if it comes out clean they are done!
5. Cool the cupcakes in their tins on a wire rack for 10 minutes then remove and allow to cool completely before frosting.
6. Enjoy!
Now the cream cheese frosting is all mine! Mine I tell you!
1 pkg cream cheese
1/2 stick of butter
Put them in the micro-nuker for 30 secs. Yes, silly, unwrap them, geez.
Put them in the blender and turn it on. When its all nice and squishy add...
1/2 pkg powdered sugar
splash of vanilla
Blend some more in your blender with the blending paddle blender thingy. (I love my kitchen aid mixer)
Oh. Be sure to scrape down the sides. Cream cheese likes to be stubborn.
Taste. Taste again. One more time. Is it perfect? Are you sure? Your positive?
Only fools are positive. Are you sure? I'm positive.
Now taste the frosting with the batter jsut to be absolutely sure it goes together. Oh. Wait. That's just me.
Has the batter grown while you made the frosting?
Mine did too. I was afraid it would be a never ending bowl of cupcake batter. Finally the hot water killed it in a bloody mess down the sink.
It was awesome.
Ok so now your done. Wait till the cupcakes are cool before you frost them. I use a bag with a large open tip and put the tip almost down to the cake and squeeze and rise at same time. Add the sprinkles. They are a requirement.
Repeat.
Want some of mine? I have 60 of them.
Happy Valentines Day!
I have a thing for red velvet cake. LOVE red velvet cake. It was a special treat when granny made it for birthdays.
So, lately, there have been a million recipes floating around about variations of red velvet baked goods.
I decided to make red velvet cupcakes for the kids for school. This is the only school celebrated day there is (Don't get me started). I saved all that money and time not having to do stuff for Halloween and Christmas, so why not splurge on V's day.
Yes, I'm crazy, we've established this. Whats your point?
I searched the inter-web for a decent red velvet cupcake recipe and made a special trip to the store to buy some of the necessary ingredients.
I was up until 1am making and frosting said cupcakes. Red velvet with cream cheese frosting. And sprinkles. Mustn't forget the sprinkles. They are a requirement.
I had to work early and decided to deliver the cupcakes as a surprise during the school day to the kids.
I got off work, had a great meeting at Molly's Fund, was super excited to bring the cupcakes to the kids. I ran by the store, grabbed a mylar balloon and a rose for each of them, because, well, they are the loves of my life.
I ran home and grabbed the 60 cupcakes I had made the previous night and drove to school.
I walked in the front door, hands laden with yummy treats and the gifts for the kids. The secretary lady walks up to the counter as I approach, unsmiling. This is odd. She is always happy and nice and friendly. Maybe her hubby didn't get her flowers.
"Are those homemade?" she asks sternly
"Um... ya..."
"I can't let you bring those to the classroom. Unless they are store bought, the kids can't have them."
My eyes start to water. Damn eyes.
"Are you kidding? I stayed up late to make these for them, spent $30 in stuff to do this."
"I'm sorry."
In the meantime, the principal walks up and says the 8 dreadful words "I need to talk to you for a minute"
Oh great. Now I have to go to the principals office. They probably won't even let me take the balloons and roses to the kids 'cause, you know, the helium, it causes cancer and they might smell it and be hooked on drugs by the time they are 42 and the rose may have a wayward thorn that will suddenly grow and bite someone and put them into a deep sleep only to be awoken by an ogre.
Eyes are watering more. Damn eyes.
"I think your daughter has lice." He tells me in his office.
WHAT?!!?!?!?!? I mean, ok. My house isn't perfect, i'm a single mom. With 3 jobs. But its certainly not dirty.
F*&^
"She has been scratching and there are white flakes in her hair...Their have been other cases of lice in her class so she may have contracted it from another student."
Flaky and itchy....Dandruff?
"She has cradle cap. It causes the same thing."
"Oh. Well, I'll look at her at let you know."
FML
"I'm sorry about the cupcakes."
Oh sure. Rub it in.
I managed to get the balloons and roses upstairs to the kids, thoroughly embarrassing them.
I grabbed my cupcakes and left the school.
60 f'ing cupcakes! 3 hrs of sleep. $30 of wasted money
Ok. I'll give you the bloody recipe. I needed to vent first.
Want to see the cupcakes? Of course you do.
60 F'ING CUPCAKES.
Ok. I'm done now.
The recipe I can take no credit for at all. I got it here.
There are some things I don't mess with, and baked goods are one of them...well, unless its adding bits (like chocolate chips) or cheesecake. I screw around a lot with cheesecake. MMMMM cheesecake.
Focus. Deep Breath. OK.
2 1/2 cups sifted cake flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
2 oz. red food coloring (two bottles) or 4 oz beet juice (if you use unprocessed light cocoa you can leave out the food dyes and you'll get a warm red/brown color)
1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 eggs, at room temperature
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup buttermilk, at room temperature
1 teaspoon white vinegar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line two 12-cup muffin tins or silicone pans with cupcake liners.
2. Sift together the cake flour, baking powder, and salt into a medium bowl and set aside. In a smaller bowl, mix food coloring and cocoa powder to form a thin paste without lumps and set aside.
3. In a large bowl, using a hand mixer or stand mixer, beat butter and sugar together until light and fluffy, about three minutes. Beat in eggs, one at a time, then beat in vanilla and the red cocoa paste, scraping down the bowl with a spatula as you go. Add one third of the flour mixture to the butter mixture, beat well, then beat in half of the buttermilk. Beat in another third of flour mixture, then second half of buttermilk. End with the last third of the flour mixture, beat until well combined, making sure to scrape down the bowl with a spatula.
4. In a small bowl, mix vinegar and baking soda. Be careful as it will fizz so don't do it in a shallow bowl. Add vinegar mixture to the cake batter and stir well to combine. Fill cupcake cups with cake batter until they are a little under 3/4 full. I ended up with 20 cupcakes. Place muffin tins in your preheated oven. Bake for approximately 20, rotating pans halfway through. The cupcakes are done when you are able to pat the tops and the cake springs back up. If it sinks down they are not yet complete. Or you can insert a toothpick into the center of a cupcake in the center of the tin and if it comes out clean they are done!
5. Cool the cupcakes in their tins on a wire rack for 10 minutes then remove and allow to cool completely before frosting.
6. Enjoy!
Now the cream cheese frosting is all mine! Mine I tell you!
1 pkg cream cheese
1/2 stick of butter
Put them in the micro-nuker for 30 secs. Yes, silly, unwrap them, geez.
Put them in the blender and turn it on. When its all nice and squishy add...
1/2 pkg powdered sugar
splash of vanilla
Blend some more in your blender with the blending paddle blender thingy. (I love my kitchen aid mixer)
Oh. Be sure to scrape down the sides. Cream cheese likes to be stubborn.
Taste. Taste again. One more time. Is it perfect? Are you sure? Your positive?
Only fools are positive. Are you sure? I'm positive.
Now taste the frosting with the batter jsut to be absolutely sure it goes together. Oh. Wait. That's just me.
Has the batter grown while you made the frosting?
Mine did too. I was afraid it would be a never ending bowl of cupcake batter. Finally the hot water killed it in a bloody mess down the sink.
It was awesome.
Ok so now your done. Wait till the cupcakes are cool before you frost them. I use a bag with a large open tip and put the tip almost down to the cake and squeeze and rise at same time. Add the sprinkles. They are a requirement.
Repeat.
Want some of mine? I have 60 of them.
Happy Valentines Day!
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